A letter to Australia regarding Talaya Angel.

One of my best friends, Talaya Angel, who I’ve known since junior high is now a grown woman and moving to Australia for what else, but life. But Australia, I think there are a few things that you should know about one of your newest residents, so you’ll be prepared:

1. She not only has a shoe obsession, but she also has abnormally large feet for a girl, so keep your stores stocked with bigger sizes (AKA “canoes”). She’s bound to come knocking sooner or later.
2. Her mood is directly correlated with how good her hair looks. Make sure there is a hairstylist relatively close to her house that can style a very picky black and Korean girl’s hair. Otherwise, her boyfriend and all other people in the general vicinity are subject to severe injury.
3. She’s one of the most Korean girls I know, and she’s only half. Get used to the smell of kimchi.
4. Everything must be just right. When she plans nights out or vacations, everything is her way or the highway. She’s working on this, so be patient with her.
5. She has really small eyelids. When she smiles, don’t worry, her eyes are still open.
6. She can drink. Be ready.
7. To go along with #6, she’s a wine connoisseur. Don’t try to BS her about wine just to impress her, she knows her stuff. But if you don’t know anything about wine, ask, and she will share.
8. She’s gorgeous, but she has a man. Sorry boys.
9. However, if her man ever messes up, let me know and I will be on a plane in a heartbeat. And I will get a machete through airport security.
10. She belongs to the tightest group of friends back home in California that you will ever meet. If her man ever messes up, repeat #9 five more times.
11. She will make plenty of new friends out there, and we’ll be jealous that they get to have and spend time with our girl. But I guarantee those friends will never know her like we do. And you can quote me on that.
12. If you ever get into a fight with your boyfriend at 3 o’ clock in the morning, need someone to talk to, or just can’t sleep, she will wake up and talk you through it until you’re ok. Not many people will do this for you, so don’t abuse it, and do the same for her when she needs you.
13. She is part of the dying breed of optimists. She has her “good feelings” about things, and she’ll take you out for a drink or a night of dancing to make you feel the same way.
14. Australia, although you may be what she calls home now, just know you’ll never be the only one. Because she’ll always have a home here in California no matter what.

So Australia, take care of our girl. She’s the only Talaya we have, and we can’t replace her.

I need

I love my mom. And she loves dogs.

So I set up a Gmail account for my mom, who decided recently that she would like to jump on this technology stuff. I taught her how to text not too long ago also, although she seems to like email a lot more. Now, if you haven’t met my mom, I have to tell you that not only is she pretty much the sweetest, kindest, most caring person you will ever meet, she’s Korean and she also loves dogs. Even more than I do, I think. I have a dog named Tucker, who she is in love with, and our family dog, Chewy (or Chuy) lives with her and my dad. She recently dog-sat for my cousin who has 2 dogs, and now that my cousin took the dogs back, my mom is suffering from empty nest syndrome. Today I got this email from her:

Hi baby !
Guess what I got for tucker ?
I got him a snuggie for the dogs
I think it will fit him perfect
I can`t wait to see him in it .
well every one is gone home again
house is quite and chuy she is happy
mommy Misses Ziggy already
well they will be back soon enough I guess i better enjoy
love you mom

I love my mom. And she loves dogs. And I love that she loves dogs. I also can’t wait to see my dog in this:

Dogs.

I’ve had 5 dogs in my lifetime, and none of them have ever done me wrong, even if I didn’t always take them for long walks every day, give them lots of treats or let them sit in my lap. I didn’t even have to wear cute outfits or makeup around them. They all loved me just the way I am, unconditionally. And people have even asked me why I love dogs so much. Because not one, in my entire life, has ever given me a reason not to. Why are we humans so wrong to each other?

Shooting for the Moon.

I’m surprised I haven’t heard more commotion about this. I was browsing the Huffington Post the other day and had to double check to make sure I wasn’t reading The Onion when I came across this headline:

Apparently they are looking for traces of water ice or vapor, and they think that bombing the moon will help find some that may be lurking beneath the surface. The discovery of water ice or vapor could expedite lunar exploration. My first reaction to this was “OMGWTFBBQ. They are bombing THE MOON.” Then, after mulling over it for a couple minutes, I thought, “OK, it’s NASA. These guys are scientists. They must know what they are doing. This has got to be safe.”

But after thinking about it even longer, I came back to the fact that it is, in all reality…THE MOON. Yeah, there are those lingering fears about throwing the entire universe out of balance or a huge piece of moon breaking off and hurdling towards Irvine. But other than that, it’s THE MOON. It’s the guy I see peacefully sitting in the sky every night, blocking the sun for me so I can get some shut eye. The thing we’ve written songs, books and poems about, the thing we all used to want to travel to when we were kids just to see if it really was made out of cheese. I just don’t get it. We’ve become so desensitized to destroying nature that launching a huge chunk of metal at our outer space counterpart just seems OK, just seems logical, as long as we do it in the name of science?