Don’t Ask Don’t Tell by Jeff Sheng

Thanks to an LA Times’ Culture Monster blog post, I just read about this photography project by Jeff Sheng, which documents gay military personnel, in uniform, but without revealing their faces.

The photos are beautiful, powerful and a little heartwrenching. It’s an ongoing project and Sheng is continuously looking for participants. I think it’s absolutely brilliant. Check it out on Sheng’s website.

Get over it.

I’m slapping myself on the wrist right now for not writing a blog post since the end of December. The truth is, I’ve been writing, but everything I write, I end up hating. And then I just either save it as a draft or delete it. It’s stupid, really. Considering that I created this blog for my own personal ramblings, I shouldn’t be so insecure about what write here. But I am.

I’m blaming part of it on work; I’ve been writing at my day job and doing freelance work and I feel like I’m losing my voice. It seems like such a cop-out thing to say, but when you write for other people so often, you forget what “you” sound like, what you want to write about, for the sake of writing about it. So I’m making a late-start resolution to force myself to write something at least once a week, and if I don’t write, to at least post something that either interests or inspires me. I’ve never been huge on resolutions, since they usually end up being broken, but gad, I’m in such a desperate writing-rut right now, I’ll try anything to get back on the horse. So I’ll apologize ahead of time, here, for any random and stupid crap that ends up being posted in the near future. And in the far future.

So to start off 2010, even though it’s already February, here’s a list of some of the best movies released in 2009 that you’ve never seen. You may have seen them, but I’m just calling this list that because many people I’ve spoken to have never heard of them. I’m not a film snob, but I do enjoy movies, and I just want to spread the word about these great ones in case you haven’t seen them yet. This list definitely isn’t comprehensive; these are just some that I could think of off of the top of my head. Once you watch, let’s have a discussion session. And I’m totally down to argue, if you don’t agree with my endorsements.

The September Issue
I went into this movie hoping to get a glimpse at the inner workings of one Anna Wintour. I find her both fascinating and hilarious. After watching the film, I still find her fascinating and hilarious, but don’t get to know much more of Anna than you already do going in. In fact, she seems to hold back during many of the scenes where the camera is following her around, so it may even be a less accurate depiction of the Prada-wearing devil. However, the real star is Grace Coddington, the model-turned-creative director, whose passion really won me over and left me wanting to see a new documentary for each issue of Vogue that she helps put together.

Anvil! The Story of Anvil
I had no idea who Anvil was before seeing this film. But after watching it, I’ll never forget them. This movie took me completely by surprise. I went into it expecting a good laugh, but took away so much more about love and art. See it.

Broken Embraces
This one is probably not for everybody, but I am completely enamored with Broken Embraces. It’s in Spanish and it’s got the makings of classic film noir. Love, sex, murder, mystery, betrayal…it’s all there. I’ve never been a huge Penelope Cruz fan, but I loved her in this. Plus, for the fellas (or ladies, depending), there are boobs. Yes, there are boobs.

Precious
Oh gosh, I don’t even think I need to talk this one up. The story and all of the actresses were outstanding. To hear the words “Mo’Nique” and “amazing acting” in the same sentence may be shocking, but trust, she was on fire in this movie. Reading synopses and seeing the trailer may make you think this is just a cliche, girl-in-the-ghetto film, but I think it succeeded in areas that many films fail in its boldness, and courage to show things that people may not necessarily “want” to watch.

An Education
Thank you, Ryan, for turning me on to this movie. Such a sweetly-told tale of innocence and life lessons that I think we all can relate to in some form or another. Carey Mulligan as Jenny was brilliant. That girl is a star, fasho, and totally gorgeous.

Sin Nombre
Gad, this movie is intense. Boy meets girl, boy’s gang tries to kill boy and girl, bah it’s complicated. It’s in Spanish, so be prepared for that. In my opinon, films are always better when one of their thematic elements is a train. I’m not sure why that is.

That’s all for now; it’s getting late. I still haven’t seen Avatar, how sad.

Heart on my sleeve.

via cosa inutile

I was talking to a friend the other day that made the observation that I’m not particularly good at hiding my feelings. Even further, he said that I, of all people, would be someone he would think would be good at that sort of thing.

I had a “really?” moment for a split second, and then realized that yeah, this is probably true. I never quite got the hang of masking my emotions in any way, whether it be happiness, sadness, anger, or sheer boredom. One of my most vivid pre-teen memories is of a car ride in which my dad was upset with me. I started to cry, and he, being the military man that he is, told me to stop crying. To be an adult, and stop crying. I started to cry harder, and more violently, barely able to catch my breath in between my sobbing.

When I hear a song I like, I nod my head. When I watch movies with sad parts, I cry. When I’m around a boy I think is cute, I giggle. Still. And I’m 24. I don’t think this will ever change.

I know I need to at least try and find some sort of balance. As we get older we become more guarded, to avoid vulnerability. I don’t want to say that my parents are completely responsible for making me this way, but the night before my dad left to be stationed in Japan for an entire year, I saw him and my mom hug each other and cry without shame. I’ve also seen my dad get angry and throw a chair across the living room.

I guess what I’m getting at is that it’s difficult to only now learn to guard what I’ve always expressed freely and without much consequence. But I suppose it’s not safe to be running in an open field when everyone else has taken cover.

yes, yes, YES!

Just when I felt like my inspiration was lacking, I saw this. So epic I had to blog it. I am SO ready for this…ARE YOU? EEEeeeeeeeeeeeee!

via Perez Hilton

NEW SEASON OF RU PAUL’S DRAG RACE! It’s SO on. Maaaaad props on the promo. AMAZING. Ru, you’ve outdone yourself.

Still alive.

Hi, blog. I’m still alive, just thought I’d let you know. I’ve been the busiest I’ve been in a very long time, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. After I turned in my stories last month, I told myself I wouldn’t be taking any freelance work this month so I could take some time for myself, relax, and allow myself to get used to all these crazy changes that I’ve been experiencing. But this week I find myself trying to fit in interviews in between my day job and Christmas shopping. I’m justifying it by telling myself that it’s money I will be spending on Christmas gifts. Sleep continues to elude me.

There are a lot of words inside waiting to get out, but I can’t quite find the right order to put them in. Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with the desire to consume art constantly, no matter what medium. I’m looking for inspiration. Here are some of the random things that inspire me lately.

Film noir.
Melody Gardot.
Rain.
Mavyn.
Trust.
Pumpkin anything.
Ernest Hemingway.
Cassette tapes.
People telling me what they are getting others for Christmas.
Alicia Keys – This Bed.

Speaking of bed, I need to be in mine right now. Good night friends.